My Achilles Heel

The province I am located in has a newborn screening program that tests newborns for metabolic, endocrine, and genetic diseases. These disorders are serious, and by the time you are seeing signs and symptoms of one of these disorders, the damage is already done, and your wee babe is either very ill or dying. Early treatment is vital. As midwives, it is our responsibility to poke the little heel of every baby we deliver and collect five 1cm circles of blood to send off to test for these diseases.

I really, really do not like doing it. Not because I hate poking the baby's heel (though it isn't my favourite part of my job) - I poke people regularly, and to be honest, it is somewhat routine. I also know that it is in the best interest of the child to be tested for these diseases. In all sensitivity, I encourage the mom to put the baby to breast so that they can be distracted and also receive the calming effect of breast milk while being poked and having their foot bled, but if they cry, I can even tolerate that without too much conflict. No, what I hate is poking the parent's child. Especially because the parents are there watching. To be the one inflicting pain on their precious babe is torture to me, for the parents' sake. I truly feel more for the parents than for the poor babe.

When I'm done collecting the sample, I usually kiss the poor baby's foot and apologize: "There, there, all done. I'm so sorry, little one" but inside I'm thinking "I'm so sorry mum, I won't hurt your babe any more." Maybe I should say that aloud too. I don't know that it would help the mum, but perhaps it would help me.